"They are the very model of a modern married Brown couple!"

As previously mentioned, my brother got married last Saturday to a splendid woman in a splendid wedding. Being a huge Gilbert & Sullivan geek, I gave the following toast at their wedding, and since a lot of people enjoyed it, I thought I would post it here and then just direct the inquiries I've been getting for the text towards my blog. (Yes, it's true. I will use anything to get more traffic!)

"They Are the Very Model of a Modern Married Brown Couple"
(to be sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" by Arthur Sullivan
with apologies to W. S. Gilbert)

They are the very model of a modern married Brown couple
They've information medical, historical, and criminal
He knows the tribes of Mali and can quote the fights historical
From '63 to Menaka in order categorical
She's very well acquainted too with matters anatomical
She understands diseases both the common and phenomenal
She studies all her books and she shares trivia with her new spouse
With many cheerful facts about diseases that you see on House
(Chorus: "With many cheerful facts about diseases that you see on House!" x3)
They met as fencers on the fencing team at Brown their freshman year
They both competed in collegiate tournaments both far and near
And still in matters medical, historical and criminal
They are the very model of a modern married Brown couple.
(Chorus "And still in matters medical, historical and criminal
They are the very model of a modern married Brown couple!")

When Adrian has purchased all the soccer jerseys known to man
When Ruth owns all the sneakers marketed since modern time began
When Adrian is blogging things that all the major-generals see
And when he finally has a technorati rank of twenty-three
When both of them have published in prestigious journals many times
When he is working for the CIA and she is saving lives
When both of them are fencing with USFA in their spare time
You'll say a modern married Brown couple was never so sublime
(Chorus: "You'll say a modern married Brown couple was never so sublime!" x3)
When she has found a residency with M.D.'s who aren't too mean
And when she's playing golf with them she doesn't pass out on the green
You'll say in matters medical, historical and criminal
You've really never seen a better modern married Brown couple.
(Chorus: "You'll say in matters medical, historical and criminal
You've really never seen a better modern married Brown couple!")

We wish you health, and two long lives, and haleness throughout all your years
We wish you much success in your respective challenging careers
We wish you wealth and all the soccer jerseys you could ever crave
And if you wish for children, well, we hope that they are well-behaved.
We wish your cars never break down
We wish your water pipes don't freeze
We hope your basement never floods
We pray your pets never get fleas
In short, in matters practical, domestic, and just not-so-nice,
We hope you never have to call on our experienced advice.
(Chorus: "We hope you never have to call on our experienced advice!" x3)
We wish you friends and family to always love and stand by you
Though clearly, if you look around, that wish has already come true
And may in matters medical, historical and criminal
You always be the model of a modern married Brown couple.
(Chorus: "And may in matters medical, historical and criminal
You always be the model of a modern married Brown couple!")